When selling your soul isn’t fun anymore
Updated: Apr 11
I used to believe others more than I believed myself.
I used to believe in others more than believing in my own capability.
I used to believe the lies I kept telling myself.
I used to believe that there is no way out.
I used to believe that something is wrong with me.
I used to believe that I am a bad person for saying no.
I used to believe that I am not worthy of being abundant.
I used to believe that I am not worthy of receiving without giving.
I used to believe that following what lights me up is selfish.
I used to believe that I can’t break free.
I used to believe that I can’t break my negative patterns.
I used to believe that I am just a tiny little nothing on this planet.
I used to tell myself all the wrong things.
I used to tell myself these negative stories over and over again.
I used to listen too much to other people’s opinion about what is right and what it wrong.
I used to listen more to others instead of listening to my own intuition.
I used to live my life on autopilot.
I used to live my life out fear of being judged by others.
I used to live a life not in alignment with my true self.
I used to live a fear-based life.
I used to listen to my head when I knew deep down my intuition was correct.
I used to listen to my fears talking instead of my heart speaking.
I used to listen to self-doubts and harmful bs I was telling myself.
I was used to living, being and acting (pretending) a certain way.
What I was used to needed to change. I used to believe all the wrong things. In reality, I was only used to thinking a certain way in order to ‘fit’ other people’s perception of me. Sadly, that’s the way I was raised. I grew up with limiting beliefs about what I should or could say, think or do in this world. I was accustomed to feeding my soul and spirit with limiting beliefs. This was a heavy burden to carry as a young child.
The karmic patterns of my family created an unhealthy way of thinking and expressing myself. Truth be told, I grew up with a very negative belief system and self-image. I was taught the wrong way… the fearful way of believing in yourself and the world around you. I had no idea who I was. I paid way too much attention to the outside world and how I would be perceived or judged by others. I valued other people’s opinions way more than my own which was very different from their way of thinking.
Growing up around addictive family members who were perfectionists and workaholics surely didn’t benefit me as a child, nor did it benefit me while growing up. I felt like I was carrying a chain around my heart, neck and mouth.
I grew up with lots of self-doubt, and slowly but surely lost myself more and more over the years. It took several painful transformations, soul searching, moving from country to country like a nomad and several breakdowns to finally see the negative load of thoughts that had been weighing me down and keeping me small for far too long.
I had to finally break the toxic cycle once and for all. I had to break off with people I thought I couldn’t live without and remove myself from the scene for a while in order to silence my thoughts and recognise my true worth. Truthfully, this was a bit of a lonely journey but in return I found my way home to my true self.
I am finally crawling out of the shadow and into the light, slowly coming back to life. I am now on a mission to share my ever-glowing light and voice and my uniqueness with the world. Tapping into the past has helped me not only to prepare and heal my past but also my present moment, and therefore my future.
I finally gave myself permission to let go of the old cocoon and heal. I finally tossed away the beliefs that kept me stuck and were holding me back from a bright future.
No longer – and under no circumstances – will I ever sell my soul again. Under no circumstances will I ever be the person that I once was. Your mindset and your beliefs are powerful tools. Make sure you detox yourself from time to time and pay attention to the stories you are telling yourself.
Now, I am free.
Now, I feel free.
Now, you are free.