Truth Be Told: Chapter 1: I am born to do this
Updated: Jun 26, 2019
Truth Be Told
How to Overcome the Fear of Sharing your Truth and Unleash your True Potential from Within
By Christina Goetz
I am born to do this
“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.”
We come here to fulfil a mission. No matter how big or small this mission seems to be for us, it’s important. It’s our unique mission. We are here to complete our soul’s duty. For some of us this mission could look like opening a bakery, becoming a mum, being a father, a policeman, an author, a preacher, a tax accountant or even working two or three jobs at the same time. Your mission could be working full time as a nurse and creating your art work on the side, or you could be a mum with your own online business. We all want to accomplish something in life. Some of us know deep down from a very early age what we want to become in life. Can you remember the dreams you had when you were a child? Did you want to become a lawyer, a firefighter, a dancer, a doctor, a preacher or help the people in Africa?
I remember when I was around five years old, sitting in my grandma’s garden. My grandma and I were singing Christmas songs in the summer. Out loud, so everyone in the neighborhood could hear us. For the neighbors’ delight. They seemed to like what they heard and encouraged us to sing. Luckily, my grandma had an amazing voice. She and my beloved grandpa belonged to a local choir, and for many years they sang on stage in churches, at birthday celebrations, at Christmas markets and at other events. She had a lovely voice and it was normal for her to sing at every possible occasion. Sadly, after my grandpa passed away in 2000, she never really wanted to go back on stage. It was always her dream to sing. I believe she was really born to do this. Not all of us are gifted with a beautiful voice but we all have a unique gift or talent. She always knew she had talent and never doubted that. She still sings today, mostly when she is alone, but sometimes I get a glimpse of her beautiful voice when I visit her, which is regularly. Sadly, because of her worsening health condition we decided to place my grandma in a nursing home. Although this was a very difficult decision for me and my dad, we knew this was the best choice we had. The good news is that she is now settled in her new home and that she started to sing again. She has her own little audience in the nursing home and is enjoying singing from her heart again. I believe this helped her during the transition and with finding her true gift again. I truly believe she is meant to be singing until her last day on earth.
I am always amazed how some people just know what they are naturally good at and what they want to do with their lives from an early age. It was my grandma’s mission to use her soul’s voice to sing and to express herself. I, on the other hand, wanted to become a dolphin trainer at a very young age. I always imagined having a big swimming pool in my grandma’s garden where I could train the dolphins. I only got as far as having a tattoo of a dolphin on my back and took a tour of Sea World in San Diego, California. But that’s ok. To be honest, I was always quite a daydreamer when I was in high school. Even my school teachers noticed my quietness during classes when I would simply “zone out” and dream about how my life would look in the future. Today, I know this was a gift. How many of us have forgotten how to dream? Kids do this all the time. They simply daydream about the things they want. They have a natural belief that they will get what they wish for because they don’t think like adults. They simply have faith that their needs will be met. It’s so normal for them to dream about the future. The more they dream, the better. Their imagination is incredibly wide and open. There is nothing they can’t accomplish. Yet, when we get older we seem to lose that faith in our dreams. Suddenly we seem to have lost the belief that our dreams can come true. We tend to think more logically, and in a more ego-based way, which sometimes leads us into a trap.
When I was in my teenage years, I always dreamed about having my own practice and helping people all over the world. I remember once, when I was in my twenties, a medium told me that I would become my own boss and would set up my own company and influence many people all over the world. I had no idea back then that I was already on that mission my whole life. Everything that has happened in my life has prepared me to become a writer, an intuitive guide and a coach. I have struggled with food addiction, learning to accept and love myself, my parents’ divorce, depression and anxiety. I pretended to be someone I was not for a long time. I grew up becoming a people pleaser. I would help and support everyone else’s dreams, hopes and goals until I suffered from complete exhaustion, whilst not really helping and supporting myself or working out what I wanted out of life. But for a long time this seemed to be okay for me. I put everyone else’s needs first, not my own. I spent so much time helping others and fixing their problems because it was a lot easier to support them instead of figuring out what I really wanted. It felt like I was guiding others but misguiding myself. Today, I know that if I had known how to completely love, respect and support myself first, my life would have taken a different turn. I know one thing for sure: had I made different life choices for myself I probably wouldn’t be sitting here right now writing this book. In some way, all these lessons were preparing me for this and for what is to come.
Today, I truly believe I was born to do this all along. There is no doubt about that any more. I, like everyone else, was born with a mission, but it’s up to us how we shape our path. So far, my personal journey has been a crazy and amazing rollercoaster ride! My life is changing and evolving constantly. I never really know where I will end up next. I have a passion for travelling and being in different places, and somehow the universe always knows where to put me next.
I am incredibly blessed to have an adventurous and courageous spirit. Some people might think I am living a nomad life. Maybe I am, but I’ve learned that home is where you feel most comfortable, joyful and settled. Home is where your heart and soul feel at peace. Although I grew up in Germany, where a lot of people live a very secure life, I was never really like that. I always dreamed big and kept tossing the coin to see if luck would be on my side once again. I am a risk taker and a freedom seeker. I guess I always was. This isn’t really the typical German mentality, but I guess it’s one of many characteristics that makes me who I am. I truly believe that taking a risk is like taking a leap of faith. Whatever is meant to be will be. There is no such thing as losing. This is only the teaching of our ego. I have taken a few risks in my life, I admit. Some turned out great, others not so much, but I still learned from these lessons rather than thinking about what should have, could have or would have been.
If we don’t try something new we will never know what might have been; we need to take some real risks if we are to progress in our life mission. I am talking about the risk of breaking free from fear and from our restricting beliefs. Our goal in life should be to follow our passion, what lights up our heart and soul and what lifts our spirit into another dimension. I constantly check in with myself to see if I am in alignment with who I am, what I represent and what I came here to do, but that wasn’t always the case. I was always very intuitive and sensitive, but I had to learn how to trust that part of me fully, without exception. I had to learn how to trust life and to trust that things would always turn out how they were supposed to, without being fearful of the outcome. For a very long time, my fearful ego was getting in the way. I had this deep knowing that I had to do the inner work first in order to let my heart and my soul guide me through life. I know that it sounds easier than it actually is. Believe me, I have been there and I have done the inner work before getting to the point where I can now choose freely to do what I love. Of course there are days when fear and doubts are sneaking back in, but it’s up to you if you let these emotions run the show or if you simply acknowledge that they are there and then let these feelings of fear drift away like clouds in the sky. Not letting fear control you is a choice you need to make every day because fear will never really go away, but we can learn not to lean into it and instead choose to think loving thoughts instead. Make the choice to choose love.
In an ideal world, everyone would do what they love doing without any restrictions or baggage weighing them down. Before I moved back to Germany, I made a promise to myself to only do the things I love doing. Of course, that’s much easier said than done. We still have to resist negative comments and judgement from our loved ones and society. The truth is, we just have to learn not to let that affect us and to distance ourselves from judgmental people as much as we can. Again, it’s our choice who we surround ourselves with.
Growing up, I had a lot of fears, insecurities and self-doubt. I felt I needed to constantly buy new things in order to validate myself, but it never really worked. I was always striving for more – the newest iPhone, the newest fashion trends, spending money on pedicures, manicures, fake eyelashes, expensive cosmetic products or hair extensions, but none of this fulfilled me. Of course I felt better for a moment, but I realized later on in life that this was a symptom of a lack of self-love and self-acceptance. I worked in jobs that I hated, just to earn money to buy more stuff as soon as the money cleared in my account. Bills were piling up from my obsession with ordering clothes, beauty products and things I didn’t need. I had so much of everything that I didn’t even know what I had in my closet. Something major was missing in my life: the love and acceptance of myself that money couldn’t buy. I was constantly looking for approval outside of myself. I always knew that something wasn’t quite right in my life but I never had the courage to look behind these addictions until my late twenties. It was easier to avoid what was really going on deep down.
When I was in my late twenties, my inner voice told me to move away from my secure place, which meant moving away from this materialistic lifestyle that wasn’t helping me at all. Today, I know that it was my soul’s way of protecting me and telling me to get the hell out of there in order to wake up, heal the past and fulfil my mission. I finally started to trust and listen to my gut. I carefully built myself a new life, clearing out everything that didn’t seem to fit my purpose.
Without questioning it, I instinctively knew this was the right thing for me to do and the perfect opportunity for a fresh start. Spending time away from everything and everyone that was familiar would enable me to look for a deeper meaning of life. Inspired by my mother, who had just got divorced from my father and who was about to move to her dream country, Ireland, I decided to move as well, and I picked Ireland as my new home. Before that, I never really felt a connection with Ireland, nor did I ever think that I would someday move there, but I decided to do it. If my mom could do it just like that, I decided that I could too. I felt inspired by her moving to another country and my soul needed a break from all the drama after my parents’ divorce. I knew this was the change I needed to get my freedom back. Suddenly I heard this inner voice loud and clear; it was like a call waiting to be answered. I remember hearing my inner voice telling me I should move to Ireland and take a leap of faith. With no doubts, I decided to follow this call and trust my instincts. This was the first time I clearly heard my soul’s calling for change, and I knew I was finally ready to follow my inner guidance system in order to make this big jump into a new life and rebuild it from scratch.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a leader and a teacher. I could see this very clearly, even at an early age. My inner voice was present even when I wasn’t consciously aware of it. I was guided by an inner need to help people and didn’t even question it back then. Looking back now, this was clear guidance. As a very young girl, I simply allowed myself to be anything I wanted to be and it seemed so easy. Revisiting this vision, it was pretty clear to me that this is what I am meant to be doing with my life. Every experience, lesson, job or relationship I had in the past was preparing me for my next move. I know deep down that my mission is to turn this childhood vision into reality by taking the steps I am guided to take.
Valuable Lesson Chapter 1
We can’t deny the work we came here to do. We must do it. We can’t hide from our own truth. We must live our truth. We can’t downgrade the importance of our contribution to this planet. We must acknowledge and value our unique gifts and talents and share them with the world.
Spiritual Development Assignment
Take a moment to connect with your higher self. I suggest giving yourself at least 20-30 minutes for this exercise, but take as much time as you need. Set aside some quiet time. Make yourself comfortable and make sure you are not disturbed. Close your eyes and start by taking a few slow breaths. Let your breathing become heavier. Focus only on your breathing and your heart beat by turning your attention inwards. Now, I want you to ask yourself this question:
· Who am I?
Let the answers come to you. There is no right or wrong. You might notice an inner voice trying to come through. Maybe the answer makes sense, or maybe it doesn’t. That’s not important. Just let the soft voice in your gut come forward. Let her speak. Let her talk freely. The most important thing is to give her time and space to unfold.
After spending a few minutes in quietness, I want you to ask the following question:
· Why am I here?
Let the answers come to you. Notice the answer and keep breathing. Be one with the flow of life and with your breath. There is no right or wrong. Take a few deep breaths and let the following question sink in:
What do I need to do in order to align with my mission or path?
Again, let the answer come to you naturally. Keep breathing until you have all the answers. If you haven’t received all the answers keep breathing and repeat the question silently in your mind, or out loud. The key for this exercise is to take as much time and as many breaths as you need. There is no rush… you have all the time in the world. Make this a gift to yourself. When you have all the answers, take two deep long breaths, exhale, and, when you are ready, open your eyes. Congratulations! You have now connected with the wise one inside you.